Ok, so I'm retarded. In my last post, I bitched because I couldn't get the brakes disassembled on my car. Turns out I was reading the repair manual incorrectly. There were two pages with several rows of pictures with captions saying how to proceed, and I was reading them across both pages, rather than across each page individually. So the parking brake cable disconnect was actually several steps further down from where I was supposed to be. Looks like I'll be pulling the wheels off again tonight and doing the job right this time.

Don't cha hate it when that happens? You must have been thinking TOO much.