Ok, so I drove all the fucking way up to Orem today to exchange my motherboard for a new one, and I finally got home around 10:00 tonight and put it all back together. Fuck, nothing worked--the video display kept going haywire, and finally it just quit working altogether. I ended up calling Ty just a little before 11:00 to see if he had a spare video card, and he had two that he lent me, but neither would work on that board.
So here I am, using my old PII-266 to email my manager at work asking for the day off tomorrow for yet another trip to Orem, this time to return every fucking thing I bought from EBC. I don't think I'll ever buy an Asus board again, even though the old one I'm using now has served me well for almost three years.